ILONA ANDREWS

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Birthday Florida Man

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Kids are here for delayed Father’s Day. We are still planning on family relocation to Florida and the Kid 1 brought home a fun game. Okay, you have to do this with me. Google your birthday, day and month only, and Florida Man. A funny Florida man article will pop up.

For example, here is mine:

January 1st, Florida man.

Florida man arrested for attacking McDonald’s employee over not getting a straw, police say

Gordon:

April 3rd, Florida man

Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property

The story doesn’t always have to match the date, as long as it comes up in your first page search results. Post the results in the comments.

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Comments

  1. Florida man stands in fire and chants gibberish. Mushrooms made him do it, says cops.
    My goodness, this game will become addicting….so many birthdays to try out.

  7. March 22nd Florida man

    Florida man shoved woman to get at her egg rolls, police say …www.miamiherald.com › news › state › florida › article228292044

  8. Floridaman punches Jimmy John’s employee because his sandwich took too long, wasn’t ‘Freaky Fast’

  10. Florida man tried to steal vending machine from apartment complex… maybe he had the munchies or it didn’t give him his change?

    • Oh this one is even better! Florida man loses his shorts while breaking into a car dealership (November 18)

  11. Florida man reportedly tells cops he thought playing basketball naked would ‘enhance his skill level’

  12. “Florida Man Shoved Woman Because He Wanted to Eat Egg Rolls in Her House, Claims She Slapped Him”

    He must really, REALLY like egg rolls 😝

  13. OMG, such a fun internet game 🙂
    I landed on: Florida man entices gator to bite him; pours beer down its throat, police say

  21. I love Florida Man stories…

    “Florida man accused of having sex with ‘Frozen’ toy at Target”

  22. I got a couple of good ones

    January 25th Florida Man arrested for pointing lasers at planes

    or

    January 25th Florida Man arrested for attempting to “barbecue” child molesters.

  23. July 25 Florida Man:
    Florida man allegedly stabs alligator to death, tries to sell the meat – CBS News

  25. Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer (Sunday, October 13th 2019 )

  27. Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say

  30. Florida man arrested after praising the Lord while highway surfing his cadillac.

    This is fun!

  33. I have two amazing results…

    1. Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions.

    2. Florida man arrested after police find drugs hidden in his belly button

  34. Police: Florida Man Found Asleep In Taylor Swift’s Bed Charged With Stalking

    also

    Florida man accused of shooting duck with bow and arrow

  35. May 1 Florida Man

    ‘Satan is still in me:’ Florida man stabs roommate in attempt to release Satan, turns knife on himself
    Man tried to make victim suck ‘worm’ out of his blood

  36. 14 June – Florida man accused of chewing another man’s face…….EWWWWWW!!!!!

  41. “Minutes after being released from jail, Florida man arrested in the parking lot for breaking into cars”

  42. February 29th

    Florida man claiming “people were eating his brains” leads police on insane golf course chase.

    Yep, sounds like something someone with half a brain would do.

  45. Florida woman escapes 600-pound camel in Louisiana by biting its testicles.

    The camel was at a truck stop. And it sat on her.

  46. Thong-wearing Florida man arrested while building shed with garbage on stranger’s property
    Or

    Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza

    I really couldn’t decide. Sorry.

  48. December 25 – Florida Man Had Exciting Year: Looking Back at 2018
    A 52-year-old Florida man used a stolen identity to pay for $40,000 worth of dental work and to buy a $10,000 puppy, the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office said. (WFTV.com)

  50. February 19th,
    Florida Man Arrested for Trafficking Cocaine-Stuffed Launchables in Ford F-150… O.o … Fuc** ** tongue twister 😂

  51. Wanting to be an equal opportunity searcher:
    *Florida woman threatens hair salon with machete, poops in patrol car, deputies say Authorities took the 43-year-old to the Lee County Jail where she faces two counts of assault on a person 65
    *Florida Man Challenge March 5. A Florida man was arrested after asking officers if they found all his pot.

  53. Couldn’t find any laughs. Every one I found was just heartbreaking —
    like “Florida man arrested for animal cruelty fo dragging shark behind his boat.”
    That was the mildest one.

    The noon news here could be in reruns for a year and no one would know. Every day it’s the same ( except the corona count keeps going up and the testing locations open at 9:00 and are closed by 9:20. Each location in Lake Co. Fl. gets only 20 tests a day.)

    Instead of Florida man, we get an hour of “Datona man stabbed…” ” Orlando man shot…” on and on. Nothings’s worse than being stuck in Dr’s waiting room while the news is on.

  54. December 26 – FLORIDA MAN BIRTHDAY CHALLENGE
    Police: Florida man worried about vampires intentionally burns down his home.

    That’s a really bad move, there goes your threshold!

  56. Florida Man Tells Cop ‘That’s What She Said’ After Being …

    or the second one:

    August 29 Florida man accused of grabbing his genitals and

  58. Florida man who carried alligator into liquor store doesn’t remember the incident

  59. Oh man what a fun game….

    March 4, Florida Man

    “Florida Man Arrested for Throwing Cookie at Girlfriend”

    This one was for March 1 but showed up as well…

    “Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza”

  60. November 15th- Florida man accused of putting semen in coworker’s water
    Robert Tyson faces two counts of poisoning water with the intent to kill or injure.

  63. Oh my goodness! Are you sure you want to move to Florida?!?!
    5/18
    Florida man bit on tongue by rattlesnake he tried to kiss

  64. August 25, Florida man sprays women with roach spray, breaks out nunchucks over loud music. Lol, oh Florida.

  65. January 20 florida man

    Florida man attempts to hide underwater from cops, gets arrested after coming up for air, police say

  67. August 20 Florida Man Arrested For Botched Castration On Another Man He Met On Eunuch Fetish Website (OMG OMG??)

  68. My daughter got a better one from California –

    California man charged after allegedly stealing hearse with body inside and leading cops on a wild car chase.

    Her Florida one was

    Nearly nude man rides bike backwards on I-95.
    There’s a video to go with it of him in his speedo and sneakers.

    Or maybe it’s just that having lived in Florida once, a man in swimwear on a bike is an everyday occurrence.

  70. May 30 Florida man arrested after driving off from deputy, calling 911 to rub it in

  71. Florida man hits pregnant girlfriend with bag of tortilla chips over baby’s paternity

  72. Can’t post my Florida man birthday headline – not appropriate for all audiences. Still laughing, though.

  73. December 6

    Florida Man claimed “voices” told him “everyone in the world would die” if he didn’t kill his daughter.

    Yikes.

  74. Search Results
    Web results

    Police: Florida man wrecks liquor shop, blames ‘caterpillar …

  77. August 8, Florida man gets arrested for sex with dog

    Florida man asks employee at Walmart for anything that would kill 200 people…

    Are you really sure you want to vist?

  80. 6/3 Florida man

    Was arrested for throwing hamburger at pregnant woman then knocking her to ground.
    “I have problems and one of them is no cheeseburger “

  84. 26 August
    Florida man claiming to be God arrested after touching people, fighting with police, being tased

  85. In the ultimate “dick move,” Florida man kills his roommate and dog while trying to commit suicide by running car in garage

    • The headline (quoted) is funnier than the reality.

      Well, if you move there, you’ll have plenty of inspiration for weirdness in your stories. Imagine if only a fraction of this stuff makes it to the headlines.

  87. December 30th

    “Florida Man Screaming About Vampires Allegedly Sets Fire In His Own House”

    I can see how that might happen…. LOL!

  89. “Florida man accused of cutting off penis of ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend.”

    Oh my gosh, I could not make this stuff up!

    • Hi, Stephanie, You and I must have the same birthday (19 Oct). Happy early birthday to a fellow Libra!

  90. September 21st, Florida Man

    “Neighbours complain about Florida man doing yardwork naked.”

  92. Sept 30th – Dude Punches Shark To Save Dog

    At least it was for a good and honorable reason!

  94. Of course I would get this guy –

    August 5th, 2018: Florida man arrested for attempted striptease at restaurant “When the woman asked him to stop, Jordan insulted her and threatened to fight her husband, according to court records”

  95. Too funny: March 9: Pregnant Florida Woman Reportedly Stabs Her Florida Man For looking at Photo of Another Woman

  96. October 5:

    A Florida gas station owner wants people to stop warming their pee in his microwave

  97. Florida man drove naked with wires on his penis. Is it weird I that Inwould have liked to have seen that? I wonder how he attached the wires …..

  98. 😂😂😂

    “Unable To Wait Until July 4th, Florida Man Blows Off Fingers With Firework A Day Early”

  101. BDH woman’s brain starts melting into goo after trying to read too many Florida man headlines

  104. “Florida man claims to be ‘agent of God’, carries rattlesnake on-NBC2 News”

    This game is hilarious! I love it!

  106. Florida Man Arrested For Sexually Assaulting Stuffed Olaf In Target Store

  107. Florida man tells TV reporter he buried dead friend in yard: ‘I made a bad decision’ 4/16

  108. 21 May – Me
    Florida man climbs atop playground equipment at Clearwater park, tells kids where babies come from

    14 Jan – Husband
    Kill ‘Em With Kindness’: Florida Man Stabs Neighbor With Machete Named ‘Kindness’, Say Police

  110. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://floridamanbirthdaychallenge.com/floridaman/april-29/&ved=2ahUKEwj2oPWjwJ_qAhXsknIEHbiRCZ0QFjAAegQIAhAB&usg=AOvVaw0tfxFVhxdAbsTiHbSNcadz

    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/04/29/florida-man-takes-upskirt-photos-of-woman-at-gas-station-is-caught-by-investigator-nearby-deputies-say/%3FoutputType%3Damp&ved=2ahUKEwj2oPWjwJ_qAhXsknIEHbiRCZ0QFjACegQIBRAC&usg=AOvVaw1bC3Fm8E-HlcXQYHcoyjag&ampcf=1

    Florida men seem to be losing their minds on my birthday so I just sent you one for this year and on for last year.😂😂😂

  111. October 19th – Florida man accused of cutting off penis of ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend

    I would not have believed this until I did it. Poor Florida Man and all who know him!

  118. Naked Florida Man Performs ‘Strange Dance’ at McDonald’s Before ‘Trying to Have Relations With a Railing’

  120. November 26, FLorida Man

    Florida man charged with stabbing a woman with a fork over underdone potato

  121. June 16, Florida man throws samurai sword at sheriff’s deputies

    A Florida man is in jail after law authorities said he threw a samurai sword at deputies responding to a domestic disturbance call.

  122. Mar 21, 2019 · The March 3, 2019, video , posted to the Florida Man twitter page, has been viewed more than 250,000 times. One person replied.

    • WTSP › news › weird › wtflorida
      Web results
      Nearly naked Florida man rides bike backward on Interstate 95 in Miami | wtsp.com

  127. Florida man rips hole in store ceiling, steals 70 guns and escapes on a three wheeled bicycle.

  130. Florida man in green pajamas decides to eat pancake breakfast in middle of busy street

  133. LMAO. Mine was “Florida Man, 62, Strips, Performs “Strange Dance” At McDonald’s. Then Tries To Impregnate A Railing.”

  134. Oh dear….

    Florida Man on my birthday (Dec 1st): Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex, police say

    ***foreheaddesk***

  136. January 7th
    A Florida man denied syringes were his after jail officials found them in his rectum during a strip search.
    😂😂😂

  137. December 7th Florida Man: Florida man tried to pay for McDonalds with a bag of weed. Too close to real….

  138. Ha! Sure I can’t be the first to point this out, but you realize when you move, Gordan will become a Florida Man” 🙂
    Resist the crazy, Gordan! Hahaha

  139. On October 3, 2018, a Florida Man was arrested for making custom grills out of his house, according to WGNO. Apparently he didn’t realize that doing dentistry from your home was a bad idea, saying that “he considers himself ‘more of a jeweler. ‘”Oct 3, 2019

  140. Oh God ::wheezes laughing::

    July 2 – Florida man sits on gun, shoots himself in penis

  141. Florida man rigged door in attempt to electrocute pregnant wife.
    Wow, that is super dark.

  143. OMG… Please, please please, Can we have a short story of Curran, Kate and Conlan on a vacation in Florida???? I can’t even imagine the craziness you could come up with when you have these kinds of inspirations to pull from!!!!

  144. January 16

    Florida Man Says, “Jesus Told Me To” After Driving Ferrari Into Water

    He also told police, “Jesus made me the smartest man on earth and it’s so hard to have this much responsibility.”

    Thanks much for the laugh. Looking forward to sharing the game with my husband.

  145. MARTIN COUNTY, Fla. (WFLA) – A Florida man was charged with battery after he allegedly slapped his girlfriend in the face with a cheeseburger, TCPalm reported. Kyle Jamison Jones, 30, was arrested on May 4 after his 28-year-old girlfriend reported that he attacked her while she was sleeping

  146. May 27: Florida Man Arrested for Grand Theft After Trying to Walk Out of Store with AK-47s Stuffed Down His Pants

  147. May 25, Florida Man arrested for teaching kids where babies come from… at the top of his lungs

    … he was just doing a little PSA. I would’ve donated for his bail

  149. Florida Man Charged With Picking Magic Mushrooms While Carrying An Alligator

    …I have many questions

  150. Florida man arrested for loitering in neighborhood says he was checking security systems for President Donald Trump

    what a fun game! evil laugh

  151. July 3 Florida fisherman reels in big package of marijuana

    alternatively, for the strict Florida *man* format

    July 3. Florida man dies in explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave.

    Florida is wild, yo.

  152. Drunk Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne

  154. November 24:

    Florida man tried to break into car filled with cops, officials say

    Florida man attacked by a ‘crazy squirrel’ gone nuts. And it was raised by a neighbor

    Florida man uses fake ID, steals $41K in dental implants, $10K for French Bulldog

    Florida man arrested after telling cop his name is ‘Ben Dover’

  155. FLORIDA MAN FLASHES BUTTOCKS AT IHOP AFTER IMPERSONATING A POLICE OFFICER TO GET FREE FOOD

  156. April 1 -Florida man facing charges after firing at roofers who interrupted his argument

  157. Hilarious!

    October 9th, Florida man.

    A Florida Man Is Arrested For Trying To Get A Caiman Drunk

  158. May 26 Florida man attacks his mom with spaghetti because “demons were in his head”

    BAHAHAHA

  159. Florida man January 12 Florida Man Tells Neighbors He’s Going to Kill Them With Kindness Then Tries to Kill Them With a Machete He Named “Kindness”

  160. June 28 – Florida Man Back in Jail After Not Paying for Taxi That Picked Him Up From Jail… 🙂

  161. First headline reads: “Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with CHEESEBURGER, deputies say.”

    There was also “Fugitive Florida man on bike hoped ‘hideous’ blonde wig would help him evade deputies, police say.”

    🤣🤣🤣

  163. “Florida Man says his Turle Army will Destroy Everyone.”

    Wow.

    First result on the page and on my real birthday. I think I win this game…

  164. March 21st: Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say
    😳

  165. May 11 FLORIDA MAN ARRESTED AFTER HIDING LEGLESS, FUGITIVE GIRLFRIEND IN STORAGE BIN

    Words.Fail.

  166. NAPLES, Fla. – A drunk and shirtless Naples man was arrested at an Olive Garden Sunday after shoveling spaghetti into his mouth.

  167. If I read it in a novel I wouldn’t believe it…

    June 26th – Florida man accused of killing dancing flamingo is hit by truck and killed before trial

  168. December 30th: Florida Man Screaming About Vampires Allegedly Sets Fire In His Own House

  169. “Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say”

    This was the best idea, I can’t stop laughing , thank you

  170. October 31st: “Florida man takes epic mugshot after driving naked near school with wires attached to penis”

  171. Florida man tells cops playing basketball nude ‘enhances’ skills
    My favorite for mine because HELL NO I don’t want your privates on my person!!!😂😂

  172. Florida man climbs on playground equipment to tell children where babies come from

  173. January 12: Florida woman breaks into police station, eats officer’s dinner, police say.

    Florida man accused of stealing golf balls, beating golfer

    Florida woman shot after performing sexual act for Pringles and $5, deputies say.

    Police: Florida man threatens to kill neighbors with “kindness” (he named his machete “Kindness”)

    Florida Man Gets Death: Thought Man Wearing Alabama Cap was the Antichrist

  174. I hate that y’all are leaving Texas. I’m glad you are happy and enjoying new plans. Hugs.

  175. October 7th. Florida man accused of pouring beer down gators throat after enticing it to bite his arm.

  176. Florida men is accused of pouring beer into gator’s mouth after trying to entice to bite his arm

  177. A Florida man claimed to be threatened by vampires when he was arrested for dancing on top of a police cruiser.

  178. September 22, “Florida man rides manatee, dares police to arrest him, gets arrested”

  179. October 24 – Florida Man Arrested For Sexually Assaulting Stuffed Olaf In Target Store

  182. November 1 – Deputies:Florida man groped princess at Magic Kingdom

    What?! How does stuff like this?
    This is a fun game though. I’m going to share with the fam!

  183. I don’t have to look mine up as you and I have the same birthday. Thank you for doing all the work for us January 1st birthdays.

  184. December 28: Florida man drops stolen TV from get-away scooter.
    Ilona both of us are Capricorns!

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