I ordered some yarn from Purl Soho. It’s an alpaca blend, which I don’t normally use, and so I wanted to try it. It was shipped by UPS.
Behold my tale of woe.
It’s been sitting at the UPS for 2 days. Pre-Covid, shipments from California came in 2 days, door to door.
I want my stupid yarn.
Several days ago I am sitting in the pool. Just sitting, because the air is hot, the water is hot, and my head kind of hurt after working. Gordon is in a lounge chair.
Kid 1 runs out of the house in a towel phone in hand.
Kid 1 is a modest person, so someone probably died.
“Here, mom, she left 40 texts in 2 minutes. Call her.”
I call Kid 2.
Hysterical voice. “Quincy is dying! The vet can’t see us for 3 hours!”
“What are the symptoms of his dying?”
“He can’t walk. He can walk a little bit, but then his legs don’t work, omg, omg, Mom!”
“Is that thunder?”
“Switch to Facetime, please, and show me Quincy.”
I get a livestream of Quincy. He lying on the rug in the kitchen. Ears are down, avoiding eye contact.
“Make him move a bit.”
Kid 2’s boyfriend gently prompts Quincy, who stumbles upright, walks across the room, jumps on the couch, and squeezes himself into the couch cushion. Ears are held asymmetrically, no eye contact, hunching over. Classic freaked out dog pose.
“He isn’t dying. He’s scared of thunder.”
“Mom! He can’t walk!”
“He is scared of thunder and you are making it worse by yelling. Get a blanket. Sit down on the floor with him in a quiet room, let him feel your body heat, and act normal. If he wants to hide under the blanket, let him.”
“He can’t walk!”
Quincy jumps off the couch and pees a little.
“Omg! He just peed himself! I’m calling the emergency vet!”
Gordon: I’m not paying for that. That dog is scared. That’s all that is.
Also me, texting a picture of a scared German shepherd that literally has the same pose as Quincy: I wish you wouldn’t drag him out into the thunderstorm…
An hour later.
Text from Kid 2: I’m in the vet ER. They won’t tell me anything.
Me: It takes time.
Kid 2: What if it’s neurological? They said it could be neurological.
Me: It’s probably not.
Another twenty minutes.
Call from Kid 2: Um, they said he had a severe panic attack, probably because he was left outside as a puppy and traumatized by thunderstorms. I had let him out just before the storm hit and it must’ve freaked him out.
Well, it’s been a couple of weeks now and it’s safe to say, this isn’t neurological.
Poor little guy. He will probably grow out of it. Sometimes you just want to smack people. Who leaves a litter of newborn puppies in the back yard? If you don’t know how to take of your dogs, don’t breed them.