Yesterday we ordered grocery delivery and the only slot we could get was between 8:00 and 9:00 pm. Normally, the grocery delivery person texts us right away after dropping our purchases off on the porch by the front door. This time the text took a little bit to arrive, maybe 10 minutes. I don’t know if there was an interruption of service or what happened, but eventually my phone dinged.
I go outside. I start picking up groceries. The eggs are still cold, the butter is still firm, so not that much time passed.
And then I see this.
Somebody clearly clawed whatever this is open. What is this? Is this a meat tray? No, all my meat is still intact in the bags.
I check the sticker. $5.00. Hmm, what kind of meat costs $5.00 for a tray that size? Oh wait, it’s not meat. It’s sliced watermelon.
The two raccoons that sneak around at night to nibble on the left-over cat food stole our watermelon and ate it.
Look. Here are the watermelon juice stains.
And I found this.
Boots, the semi feral cat that mooches off us, saw the whole thing, the lazy bastard, and didn’t do anything.
We have four – count them, four! – dogs in the house and nobody barked while the watermelon was stolen. We have three inside cats, who run to the window whenever anything moves, and they failed to detect the thieves.
There can be only one punishment for this. Public shame.
THE WALL OF SHAME
These are the lazy beasts who have failed to protect the watermelon.
Shame, shame, shame!